Blondie performing Heart of Glass, 1978
Archetypes | JUDAS
A traitor is never just a traitor. He walks the field at night retracing his steps over and over until his feet bleed and his throat burns from the screaming. His betrayal is overwhelming, rippling out through his past and future until there is no end in sight, until the choice seems to have been all his life was ever meant to be. Could he have been so blind to his own evil nature, his own cruel lips, his base tongue, his own twisted soul? God roars through his dreams, the flames leap through his destiny, and always but always, he remembers the words of Jesus, as he gripped his face with a terrified fire in his dark eyes, and told him to do what he would do, and have it done quickly. Like it was scripture written onto his soul, Judas could not have done otherwise, consumed with a need that was never just for silver. It was too much, to be beloved of the son of God; it was always too much light to bear.
Like a dream, his lips ghost over and over the face of Jesus, giving the damning kiss, and silver falls through his hands, burns cold into his lips where the skin of the messiah he had loved was so warm. He desecrated his own soul that the children of God might be saved, he understands that now, but does not trust to the redemption it promises him, not when he is wracked with such a pain of remorse his bones ache and crack with it. Not when he cannot stop screaming out the name of Christ, his brother, like a prayer. He will die by his own hand, hanging in the field of blood with the word of God like love on his lips.
#nothing crueller than loving and being loved by a prophet #the love of the disciples was overwhelming and so was their jealousy #would jesus not have chosen the one he loved best to destroy him; to raise him up on the cross that humanity might be saved? #would he not have wanted love to be the driving force behind his pain?#would that not have made the unbearable bearable? #if judas was driven by a greed; by an evil; was gripped by satan as they say #would it not have crept in through the faultlines in his soul #left gaping wide open by exposure to the sheer force of adoration and transcendence #that always breaks us all wide open #and sends us running terrified from what we see there? #was judas acting in fear or in greed or in love or in holiness or evil? #the answer is always; has always been; all of it #the son of god does not die by accident #not by the hand of random malice or greed #no; he dies by love; every time #the kingdom of god is within you because you ate it #my judas feels are incomparable and overwhelming and highly unique#a traitor is never just a traitor #(well that’s it in a nutshell)
things to remember:
- nerd has a lot of pent-up anger, might pretend you are his dad
- because of the jock’s exposure to jazz music, his attack patterns and movements are a lot less predictable
Woman Trouble | Artful Dodger (ft. Robbie Craig & Craig David)